I swear alot... I don't give two fox about it.

I am a mom, a friend, a daughter, a lot of things.  I have the biggest heart and I wear it on my sleeve. I’m also emotional, impatient and truth be told I'm a wreak at times.  I love to blast the music and sing at the top of my lungs in my car when I am alone. I don't like to run unless there is a reason to run, and my friend is getting me to love myself enough now to run and do good things to this body of mine.  Running up this hill a few months ago I said words even I was ashamed of saying!

It then hit me that oh boy...

I might be a little sweary.... well maybe a lot sweary.   Here is my truth. I will try to reel it in but that doesn't happen very often. My parents are sweary and my close friends are sweary,   This is what I would like to say to the up tight parents,  I am a foul mouth, sweary AF bad ass mom, and yes I do swear like a mother foxer.  I have a very low chance of stopping. I am happy to report that I could give zero Fox! I honestly can say that I don't want to stop.  I am an adult and I will do what I want.

I will try hard not to swear in front of your kids or at the preschool.   

Most of my friends are sweary. I know most of us moms out there are so sick of being told to watch our mouths that we just want to be who we are. Honestly, I’ve never understood why the hell so many people get their undies in a bunch over swearing. If it’s not mean-spirited or name-calling, who’s getting hurt by a well-placed Fox?

Your sweary mom friend is the one you go to when you need to hear adult conversation. Adult dialogue. She’s your ride-or-die bitch who will blast DMX at her house while getting suburban mom drunk with you. Pass the wine at the bus drop off and call it brunch! Let's talk eyebrows, and being the bad moms who would bring store bought doughnuts to the bake sale.  Yup I am here. I didn't use to be but man it feels good to pull that stick out of my ass and with a lot of support here I am with a back bone. Free as a bird. 

No gray area with a sweaty sister like one of my bestie, With her there is no passive-aggressive, sugar-coated nonsense with your cussin’ mom friend. She’s gonna let you know what the fox is up. You will never have to worry about that at all. Ever. 

Then there is my other bestie Disney Barbie. When the two of us get together, just know it’s contagious. When a sweary mom loooovvvves something – she fuuuuuucccckkking loves it. My intensity is infectious. You can’t help but enjoy yourself around someone who compares her favorite wine to the best sex you will ever have with a man that can give it to you for hours.... I will take the wine thank you! Then when she talks to you about coffee, you can’t help but feel passionate about the French-pressed coffee she’s drinking when she compares it  to nothing else you can even put into words. When she gets a little fucking excited about things, and you can’t help but get excited, too. It is nice when I am not the only sweary mother. 
                                          
If you are fortunate enough to be friends with a sweary mom, consider yourself immune to any shade thrown your way. You don’t fuck with anyone in a sweary mom’s crew. If you do, that mutha will make you scared to sleep at night just by screaming expletives. I have done this and I have made grown men cry! 

There’s a reason inappropriate potty mouths mothers (ahem, present company included) They’re raw. Their rants about raising little assholes are raunchilicious. Their accounts of motherhood aren’t the same ol’ romantic rhetoric. They are fucking real. And you, dear reader, connect to moms spittin’ realness.

They don’t think swear words are taboo, even when so much of the world does. They don’t give two fox. There is nothing you could tell a sweary mom that would make her judge you. Whether it’s admitting that your kids caught you in any circumstance or confessing to popping happy pills while drinking it down wit your favorite bottle of prosecco to deal with the little dickheads you’re raising, a sweary mom won’t bat an eyelash when you spill your bullshit. 

In fact she will just encourage you to say a big fat Fuck word and insist that you sit with her at the next PTA meeting! At first you might be little afraid but sit by her, friend her, she is the most real friend you will get.  She will stand out and make you laugh and the PTA president is gonna give you the hairy eye ball.... but you will never have so much Damn fun! 

So next time you see a mom at the park loosing her shit and looking a little mental, walk right up to her as she is telling her kid to fuck off, don’t just write her off. Don’t judge her. Go up to her and introduce yourself. She might be your new best fucking friend. 

Cheers Bitches.