Well you know that this year has been a challenge to say the least. I have had the hardest times. If the past few weeks are any indication on what my year will be like in 2017 it will be amazing.
I don’t understand the appeal of getting dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and spending a shit ton of money on cheap champagne surrounded by hundreds of strangers when I could eat cookie dough and drink wine in my flannel I love Lucy pajamas while watching the real housewives or Magic Mike . I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve never put much stock into the magic wand of a new calendar page. January 1 is just another day,with a new number at the end of it. That when writing a check it will say 2016 for the next 4 months. Do you do that as well?
So no I don't get all jazzed up about the new year... but this year... I stayed up just because fuck the dumpster fire known as 2016. I needed to watch it burn...
I definitely celebrated, no not with fancy clothes or champagne, of course, but with two middle fingers and a strong shot of Whiskey.
Goodbye you big bitch 2016, you took many important people in my family and my friends. You even killed a toddler at Disneyworld...the happiest place on earth. Nothing could hide from you. Except Betty White. We would have thrown down if that would have happened.
2016 was like having a yearlong menstrual cramps combined with a raging case of food poisoning with projectile vomiting, diarrhea, and night sweats. I can not even put a dent in the amount of awful bullshit that had hit my life this year. If I made it through the day without falling into a pile of tears or reaching for a third Xanax for the day it was a great day.
My catch phrases for the year 2016..."Fuck this shit! And what the actual fuck." Especially when the fucking clowns came out of the wood work, it was like a bad re make of Purge. I just couldn't take that and then all the cops being shot and both my boys being in the hospital. Franky being sick was just to much for this little mama's heart. I can handle it when Brock needs something because sense he was born he has been the sick one. I have been and am very prepared to take care of him. Franky with his tummy and kidney issues it was just so stressful. It was stressful on the whole house and my marriage. Some people can handle sickness and some people can not.
There were good things that happened, people got married, people had babies. After 108 years the FUCKING CUBS WON!!!!! The last thing that I expected was to start dating and finding someone I can share some mutual hate for the same things. It is true that when you find someone you can laugh all the time that they are keepers... I will share about my fun dating adventures getting to this point. They were short lived but rather funny... It will be in one post maybe two.
2016 felt like a giant bag of dicks saying fuck you. 2016 was like being from California and moving to the PNW thinking you can have a Umbrella then walking into a storm and the wind keeps flipping your umbrella inside out until it is ripped from your cold, wet gloved hands. 2016 was like falling down a flight of stairs on your ass in front of a crowd of people landing only to stand up and dress is down to your knees and your not wearing any under garments. . 2016 was like getting shit on by a seagull in the front of the ferry while its landing in front of a zillion passengers... after leaving the salon with an expensive blow out for a hot date. 2016 was like being subjected to a bikini wax over and over and over again while your aesthetician is waxing your ass and bleaching it then forgetting the bleach on while she chatters to the girl in another language in the room next door while your on all fours and then she maniacally just starts to rip the hot wax off your lady bits. Enough, bitch. ENOUGH.
Now it’s our turn to say fuck you, 2016. Goodbye and good riddance..... Pour me a Drink and get me a fucking taco....
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